what do yo do.....

.....when your Mother in Law treats your terribly? Seriously. Ever since I had Ava....its like my Mother in Law finds someway to turn anything & everything I do or say into be being mean or me trying to keep Ava away from her. This is starting to cause some MAJOR friction between the hubby & I.

Here's a little background on the relationship (or lack there of) with my mother in law........

• After I had Ava, my mil said she would keep Ava two days a week to help is save a little bit of money on daycare. I guess it was around February when I went back to work. Everything was going great.....until she started showing up later and later in the afternoons with Ava. By April, she decided that she couldn't keep Ava anymore...I was "too demanding" with schedules and being on time. I'm sorry. I was raised by a Marine, so being on time was a must. She picked the worst time to drop the news on me - the hubs was in Israel for work & my parents were off on a "family cruise" with my grandparents (minus me...i got kicked off because i had ava!). Oh, and, she told me via email. Awesome.
• We went to a family reunion in Georgia with the in-laws. Ava was still fairly young. While on this trip, I was excluded from a picture of the hubs, his mom, and Ava because, according to my mil, it was "family only". She had her feelings hurt because I fed Ava her nightly cereal (she took it as me saying she didn't know how to feed her....when really, it was my one on one time with Ava since going back to work). Also, I purposely turned Ava away from the mil at dinner one night while we were in Ga so she couldn't see her (even though the sun was BLARING through the window right into Ava's eyes.....me turning her had NOTHING to do with that!!!)
• I was told by my mil that I stress her out so much that her breast cancer is going to come back. That's a very nice thing to say to your daughter in law. 
• My mil's mother didn't hesitate to jump in on the "let's hate vanessa" bandwagon & told my mom that I will NEVER be a part of their family. Again, total awesomeness. 
• We went out to dinner as a "family" after Christmas this year....I guess it was sometime in January. Not ONE person tried to have a conversation with the hubs & I....or our kids. It was the most awkward dinner I have ever been to in my entire life.

Now, all of a sudden, my mil has become VERY pushy with getting to see Ava. I totally understand that she wants a relationship with Ava, but it seems like she only wants that relationship when its convenient to her. And that's not fair to Ava. It makes me nervous that the mil is wanting to spend so much time with Ava.......only because I have a feeling that in about 2 or 3 weeks, the interest will be gone. It's happened before. Ava is at the age now where she gets used to routine. For example, she knows that EVERY Tuesday night after ballet & dinner, Emmy & her mom (our awesome neighbors!!!!) are going to come over to watch "Biggest Loser". She gets so excited! So I guess I'm worried that she's going to get used to the mil coming to pick her up once a week & then it's just going to stop. I have NO problem what so ever with Ava getting to spend time with her "Nana".  If anything, I want my kids to have a relationship with the husbands side of the family, but they never show interest in our kids unless it's convenient for them. And I HATE it! It makes me sad that Ava is closer with my brothers wife (even before they were married!) then she has ever been with anyone on the hubs side of the family. But, they're never around....so I guess it's to be expected.

My feelings have been SO hurt by my in-laws.....mostly my mil, her mom, and her sister. I have yet to receive an apology from any of them for all of the hateful things they have said to me. And yet, somehow, I'm the bad guy & I have to just forget about it & I have to fix these broken relationships. Thats just not me. Sorry, but I can't do it. And this is putting such a strain on my marriage. I don't know how much more I can handle. Right now, it feels like the hubs only cares about making his mom happy. And that really hurts.......